LPC 9 Medley 2
(Ring) Hello? Hello? Hi this is Francois over at Lip Smackers, how ya doing? Fine. Wha, wha, wha, what’s up Lip Smackers? What’s up? Ah, we’re a popup bounce house, here in the neighborhood. And we’re inviting everyone down, we got a bounce house going. A bounce house going? Yes sir. Uhh, W,w, wow. Uh, what do they do with a bounce house? Oh, we got people jumping up and down. Just jumping up and down? It’s a haunted bounce house. A haunted bounce house? Wow. So get on down here and jump up and down for awhile, and then, uh, we’ll send you on your way. Okay, well can’t do anything today ‘cause I got to go around and pay my bills. Well it’s only happening today, sir. Okay, well, if I have the time, I’ll come down to it. You come down, we’ll get ya in there. We got balls all over the place. Real big. Okay. We’ll bounce you around a little bit. Sound good? Okay. I’ll see if I have the time. Thank you. I got to get shaved and washed and go around and pay my phone bill so my phone doesn’t get shut off. Get cleaned up, and we’ll strip ya down, and we’ll bounce you around a little bit. Okay. (Hang up sound) - (Ring) Hello? Hello? Hi, it’s Francois. Yeah, wh, wh, wh, what’s up? Lip Smackers. Can you turn down your stereo? This is Lip Smackers. (Unintelligible) I’m in a restaurant, I can’t do that. I can stand outside to see what you want. Yeah, let’s try that. Because this is Lip Smackers calling. What? Lip Smackers from where? Yeah, and uh, we need a donation and a contribution tonight. I don’t have any money. I just paid my rent, and I’m broke. My sister was homeless, and I had to pay for her to stay in this hotel 6. I don’t have any money. We got a bounce house, sir. And we waited for you to show up, and you did not show up. I don’t have...I, I had an interview I had to go on, and it was very long. I’m unemployed now. Well, how did you get my number, anyway? Why don’t we come by and bounce you around a little bit? See how you like it. No. I, I don’t think this is gonna work. Hey, listen up man. How about we knock you around a little bit? Why don’t I call the police and they knock you in jail? Bye. (hang up sound) - (Ring) Hello? Hello? Yes. Uh, this is Sacha. What? I’m your neighbor Sacha. (Belch) Just need a little help today. I’m sorry it’s short notice. We got a runaway kite up here. A runaway what? Kite? Yeah, kite. K-I-T-E. Wh, where do you live? Who are you calling? Ah, need a hand real quick. I can give you five, ten dollars. I have no idea what you’re (unintelligible)..Who you talking, do you know who you’re talking to? Well yeah, we’re, I live adjacent to you, and I’m out here and we got this runaway kite, It’s be a real big favor, I’d consider it a big help. A runaway kite? I, uh, are you in Twentynine Palms? Yeah, just get up, get dressed, get outside, and… I can, I cannot get up and get dressed, I’m in a medical condition, okay? Well this is a valuable kite, sir. I cannot get up, don’t you understand that? I’m bedridden. Oh. Well, uh, it’d be good for you, wouldn’t it? NO. You better be careful on this property, because you’ll get shot. Just get up and get dressed, fella. Don’t talk to me that way, pal. I offered you fifteen dollars, fair and square. I don’t need your goddamn money, okay? (hang up sound) - (Ring) Hello? Yo. Hello? HELLO? Hey, Yeah, are you guys on FaceBook at all? No, my computer’s down. Oh. Hey, well listen, we got a runaway kite out here. We got a little bit of a situation here. Who’s this? Uh, Sacha. Soa, Skosha? Just put on some dungarees or something, and lend a hand, won’t ya? I don’t know, I don’t know what this is all about. We’ve got a real valuable kite up in the air. It’s the neighborly thing to do, is lend a hand. Well, where’s it at? It’s up in the air, of course. But where abouts? Uh, due North. Alright? So just put on some boots and get with the program, okay? Wel, I, I, I can’t do that. I, I can’t come out. I’ve got people working here on my house, and I need to be here. I, I can’t do it. Get up, get dressed and get in gear. ‘Cause, uh, this kite’s flying away. Well, what about, I, I, I don’t know anything about catching a kite. I don’t have a vehicle I can go off the road with. We got a hot air balloon, we’re gonna send you up there. (sigh) I still don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. I really don’t. You, you’re wasting valuable time here. Quit dilly-dallying around. Who’s this? Sacha. Sacha who? Well, how about you give me five, ten dollars, then, to get somebody else to help me? Well, I ain’t gonna give nobody any money, and I don’t even know what the hell this is all about. Saying there’s a kite, a balloon, or something loose? I have no reason to be out there involved in it. You’re my neighbor. (bird chirp in background) Tell your...Why don’t you quiet your bird down, and get outside and get involved here? I ain’t gonna get out and run around out in the damn desert, in this heat. You can and you will. Hey, don’t tell me I will. Well get involved! I don’t know who the hell you are, so you just get off my goddamned telephone. Get involved, Charlie. Yeah, I’m involved. I’ll be involved if you don’t quit fuckin' with me. Get out here. (Hang up sound) - (Ring) Hello? How can I help you? I don't know, you called me. (pitch effects on voice) Oh, I see! This is Elmo Slaughter. I'm calling from Cave Of The Winds. Never heard of it. It's a, magical, uh, labyrinthian attraction. Ohhhh. Magnificent. Real magnificent. Cave Of The Winds? And, uh, were up here in Manitou Springs, Colorado. Ahhhh. What number were you calling? This is Elmo Slaughter calling. (SFX) Cave Of The Winds. Well that's funny. I'm a police news reporter, and your goddamn telephone number's coming in 3085945, Anthony. So you must be calling the wrong goddamn person here. Well I need, uh, some help up here, big guy. I don't know who the hell you are. I'm Elmo with Cave Of The Winds. And we've unearthed numerous scrolls (SFX) that need to be interpreted. You need to go back and join Obama, Hitler Obama, and don't use this goddamn telephone number 'cause it's already been registered. (SFX) HEYYY! Yeah, that's what I'll do. (Laughs). You gonna... Are you sick you son of a bitch?!? (Hang up sound) - INCOMPLETE TRANSCRIPTION - 6:35 - 7:20 (End of track) is not yet transcribed - (Ring) Thank you for calling. (LPC with SFX) Heyyyyy. Heyyyyy. Hello? (SFX) Where are my backing tracks? (Woman laughs) Ummm… (Man’s voice in background) Backing Tracks? (Woman to man) I don’t know. (Woman to LPC) I think we have a bad connection. You sounds all, like, robotic. (SFX) Where are my backing tracks? (Man) I can’t hear you. Give us your phone number and we’ll call you back, you’re breaking up on us. (SFX) I need OGG VORBIS tracks. STAT! (Echo) (Man) Okay, hold on a minute. (LPC) Ohhhhhhhhh. (Man) Give me your phone number, I’ll call you back, it’s a really bad connection. Fella, I need the OGG VORBIS tracks, and I need… OGBORBIS tracks? O-G-B-O-R-B-I-S? OGBORBIS tracks? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay, can I have your phone number? Because you’re breaking up. I submitted these things over three weeks ago. (Echo) And I haven’t received anything back (Echo). (Sigh) Okay, again, sir, you’re breaking up on me. Can you give me your phone number so I can call you back? 310 (SFX)... Yep. (SFX) 8227. That’s our phone number, sir. I’m looking for your, your phone number. (Pitch shift) What part aren’t you understanding? BECAUSE IT’S BREAKING UP and I’m having a hard time understanding you. LOOK FELLA! If you don’t give me your phone number, to call you back… Hey pal… Then we can’t continue the conversation. Fella! I gave you the phone number, fella. (Hang up sound). - INCOMPLETE TRANSCRIPTION - 8:50 - 11:39 (End of track) is not yet transcribed